3. What they will not teach you in school? Paradigms

Hi friends last week we talked about habits and how important they are. Today we are going to the next topic that will surely be an eye opener for many of you. The topic I am going to discuss today is explained superbly in 7 habits of highly effective people. But still this will come as a reminder to many of the people, and also it will be a new way to look at things.

Whenever I start to teach my kids such topics they sigh and whine that these topics are boring. But once I start explaining and telling them how important these are—believe me their eyes lit up. I know right then I have broken their old lens.

Okay, so what are paradigms?


“It is a mind game.”


These are some of the ridiculous answers I get from my kids. Some are downright hilarious. To make them understand it in the simplest of ways I teach them that I am going to change their lens.

Obviously we all have a flawed way of looking at things, and this way must be corrected. And guess what? You need new lenses.

When you wear new leans everything becomes clear, and that is what we call a Paradigm Shift.

So what are some paradigms you need to change?

  • Friend centered
  • Stuff centered
  • Boyfriend and girlfriend
  • School centered
  • Parent centered

And then are many more…but for now let us focus on only these.


  1. Friend centered

Yes, friend are so cool. We love them…we love to hang out with them, tease them, paly with them and so much more. When I say all these things they are pretty happy, but when I say the next line they totally become sad! I tell it like this…I say Friends are important but they are not very very important. Kids look at me like I broke something. Actually I did break their lens.


Yes, after all the fuss friends are not going to be permanent, and if we ever get affected by them it is not goo.d


  1. Stuff centered

We are truly living in a materialistic world. People tend to measure you with all the things you have. Cars, gaudy clothes and all that kinda stuff. But stuffs are not going to make you happy. If you thought having money, and things will make you happy then you are wrong. There is no way that will make you happy.


  1. Boyfriend and Girlfriend

Many people fall in this trap. BF and GF can have a big impact on life. But they can also make you mad, and for your information you were the one who allowed your BF and GF to make you mad. Boyfriend or Girlfriend centered is emotionally draining. If we are relying on the other person then we cannot be happy all our life.


  1. School of College centered.
    School and college is very good. You get to learn new things, and you get to grow your brain expect for one small drawback. We have a highly ineffective of judging students. We measure them with a terrible scale called marks. Marks cannot guarantee anything. It is totally a bogus. Teachers make a big mistake by viewing their students with their marks. This drops them in a fixed mindset, and there is no growth in the whole process. So instead of learning if we rely on school and college for just the marks it won’t be helpful in any way.


  1. Parents

Parents also tend to make a big mistake of taking their dreams and throwing it into your brain. They keep insisting that you want to achieve this or that while the kid doesn’t want to do anything of that sort. I tell kids to be bold enough and to tell their parents their dreams when the appropriate times come. Some parents really get pissed at me, but I am surely doing a favour for my kids.


So now that we have broken all the paradigms, let us get to practical ways of implementing all the personal developmental stuff. Hope you enjoy this week.





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D. Ronald Hadrian
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